


Pillar

by PainInTheAsgardian (Tenshiryuu)



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24518353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenshiryuu/pseuds/PainInTheAsgardian
Summary: Following Platefall, Reno and Rude are given time off to recover.  Their actions still hang heavy on Reno's shoulders.
Relationships: Reno & Rude (Compilation of FFVII)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to find a way to satisfy my Platefall feels and also my shippy little heart. Also warning: Contains spoilers for Before Crisis.

Clouds gathered overhead as the two of them trudged down the street. There was something heavy and strange in the air. Not the sense of a storm, exactly. He couldn't put his finger on it, and he was too damn tired to even try. The two of them had been through more than enough in the past 24 hours. “Some weird shit's goin' down, yanno?”

Rude grunted a reply, eyes hidden behind his shades even in the darkness, though Reno knew the things had night vision. “Even if it is, not our problem right now. You heard the boss.”

“Yeah, yeah. Two entire days of R&R, just for destroying part of the city. _Fan-fuckin'-tastic_.”

“You sure you can make it? We can catch a ride.”

“I can make it a damn block, yo.” Rude had insisted that Reno stay at his place, at least for tonight. It was walking distance to HQ, and his partner had made it clear he wasn't about to let him out of his sight until he was certain Reno wasn't going to fall apart. In truth, Reno felt the same. Rude didn't show his pain, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. He wasn't about to leave his partner alone tonight. _Not after what he'd been forced to do. Because of Reno..._

The effects of the healing materia were wearing off, and he was feeling it. The magic had worked well enough to allow them to complete their mission of escorting the new President to his castle, and taking out an AVALANCHE copter or two, but it could only last so long. Reno could sense the burns resurfacing, myriad little cuts and bruises making themselves known once more. They wouldn't be as bad, thank Ramuh, but the materia wasn't a true cure-all. Only rest and time could do that.

They continued in silence, both lost in their own thoughts of the tragedy they'd unleashed. The heavy clouds overhead opened just as they reached the apartment complex, rain beginning with a vengeance as they ducked into the lobby. Perks of a Turk salary meant actually getting to live topside and in a fair amount of comfort. Rude unlocked the door of his unit, and the two of them stumbled in, only slightly damp. Reno blinked in the sudden brightness as his partner flipped on the lights. He'd been here on a few occasions throughout the years, but just for an evening of private drinking and the occasional action flick marathon.

“I need a fuckin' drink. Or **twelve**.”

The apartment was a decent size, with an open kitchen and living room. A hallway lead off one side into the bedroom and bathroom. Rude strode to the hall cabinet, pulling out a towel and tossing it over. “Here. Shower first, while you're still on your feet. _Then_ we can drink. Otherwise you'll drown yourself.” He removed his sunglasses, wiping them down. Reno glared at him, and he returned the look evenly. “I'll find something for you to wear. Oh, and shampoo in the cabinet. Figured I should keep some around.”

“Yeah... Thanks.” He rolled his eyes, but didn't have the energy to really protest. Clutching the towel, he trudged toward the bathroom, retrieving the shampoo as he did. Once inside, he peeled off the burnt and blackened suit. The material was meant to offer some protection from all elements, up to a point. _Guess the explosions were a bit too much_. He huffed a humorless laugh as the once-fine material dropped to the floor in an unceremonious pile. No salvaging that. His wounds were visible again, purple bruises blooming across his cheeks and chest. Well, he'd worry about it after he'd washed off.

Stepping into the shower, he let the hot water fall over him. It stung, and he winced. _Hot, too damn hot_. Steam rose around him like smoke, and he could imagine himself once again surrounded by fire. It was hard to breathe... **Shit**. Gritting his teeth, he turned down the temperature. The cold water was just as biting, but it jolted him out of his reverie, and at least it didn't carry memories of flames. He braced a hand against the wall, droplets falling from the crimson strands that fell limply over his eyes.

 _It was done. It was past, and there was nothing he... they... could do about it. Goddamn it. An entire sector... All of those people... And for what?_ What the hell had Shinra been thinking? _And he hadn't even seen it happen. The true extent... because he'd fucking fainted._ Reno shuddered. He didn't know if he was crying, or if it was just the steady, cold rain. _It's over, it's done. Thinking about it ain't gonna help. Don't. You're a Turk. You don't get the luxury of a conscience_. He sucked in a breath, a tremor running through his slender, bruised frame. _C'mon asshole, clean yourself up._

The body wash smelled like Rude. Something citrusy, refined. It felt strange, and just a little bit pleasing, to surround himself with that scent. Reno focused on it, allowing himself a few moments to bask in the idea of it before remembering that he wasn't the only one in need of a shower. He gave his hair a cursory wash, much quicker than the time he'd normally spend. Tea tree. Rude knew him well. Rinsing off, he stepped out, drying his hair as best he could with the towel before wrapping it around his waist. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, he sighed. He looked like shit. _Tired, slightly cleaner shit._ The burn on his cheek had returned, as had the one across his chest. He didn't want to know what his back looked like.

“Alright, partner. Your turn, yo,” he called as he stepped out. After a moment, Rude appeared in the doorway, a rather large first aid kit in his hands.

“First this.” He held it up.

“ _Tch_. I'm fine.” He knew it wasn't convincing, given that his full, artful collection of wounds was now on full display. Rude gave a grunt of disapproval, nodding toward the bed. Reno sank down with a soft curse, glaring at the wall. The injuries might not be as bad as they had been, but they still needed care. He'd been allowed to leave the sick bay only because Rude had insisted he'd look after him. He hissed as the other began applying salve to the resurfacing burns.

“Stuff stinks, yo. I just washed all that shit off!” He got a noncommittal sound in return. Rude was trying to be gentle, but the man didn't have the softest fingers. What wasn't burned was bruised, and what wasn't bruised still felt tender. Still, he'd rather have his partner's hands on him then the damn Shinra medics. He trusted Rude, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the sensation of those fingers against his flesh. _Not that he would... or could... admit it._ He felt Rude press something to his back. Gauze. Yeah, he figured that sore spot was probably bad... But he wasn't as bandaged up as he'd expected. That was something, at least. A sputter of protest escaped him when Rude suddenly gripped his chin, albeit loosely, turning his head so he could apply some salve to his right cheek. Cool blue eyes met warm brown, and Reno's breath hitched in his throat.

“Quit squirming.”

“ _Mmmph_ ,” he responded, his stomach making some odd sort of maneuver at being caught in that gaze, body stilling as new gauze was set over the injury.

“That's the worst of them. Not great, but not too horrible. Definitely better than before.” Rude set the kit aside and rose to his feet. He nodded his head toward a black shirt by Reno's side. “You can wear that. Should be loose enough to be comfortable. Booze in the kitchen.”

“ **Damn**. Star treatment here, yo. Bandages and booze. You're the best, partner.”

There was a flash of something that might have been a grin before Rude turned toward the bathrrom and closed the door. Reno picked up the indicated shirt, slipping it over his head. It was a pajama top, and so it was meant to be loose even on Rude. That meant Reno was nearly _swimming_ in it. The shoulders were too wide, hanging off his own awkwardly and lengthening the already overlong sleeves. It hung low enough to easily cover him once he slipped out of the bath towel.

“Damn Behemoth,” he mumbled with a grin, rolling the sleeves up as best he could. The fabric was silky enough that it didn't hurt against his skin, and … it too held Rude's scent. _How fuckin' domestic._ He glanced toward the door, the sound of falling water emanating from beyond. Outside of that, the room was silent. Wthout Rude's solid, immediate presence to occupy them, his thoughts slowly started to drift again, back toward the ruins of Sector 7. The soft smile faded from his lips.

He'd screwed up, overestimated those damn rebels. He'd gotten his _ass_ handed to him – him, the Turks' 2nd in Command, and because he hadn't been strong enough... And he'd almost lost his partner. His stomach churned. He'd almost lost Rude, and then he'd forced him to... To do the **unthinkable**. His fingers curled into the supple material of the shirt's hem. Rude... _How could he act so casual about it? Even for him, it was... Too much, too damn much_. He hadn't escaped unscathed either, and Reno knew it. They'd both taken their share of hits today. Dammit, the least he could do was look after his partner the same way he'd been looked after. He'd love nothing more than to drink himself into oblivion, but he'd survive another few minutes of sobriety. _He could do that fucking much._

His mind kept trying to turn itself toward Sector 7, and he forced himself to look around the room, to find something – anything else to focus on. It was a simply furnished room, all clean lines and uncluttered space. A dark gray comforter with plum sheets. Sleek black drawers and nightstand, everything in its proper place. The only things that didn't match, clashing noticeably with the rest of the room, were an odd collection of items from Wall Market that they'd picked up over the years. Materia pop figures and colorful baubles from the various vending machines, and even a garishly colored fake flower lei from Costa del Sol. Just a little quirky. Like the man himself, once you got to know him. Reno found himself grinning again despite his mood.

The bathroom door opened, startling him out of his memories. He raised his head, and Rude quirked a brow in question, clad in nothing but a towel.

“What? Thought you were gonna get out of treatment? _Nuh-uh_. Not gonna get shitfaced before I see you bandaged up too, yanno?” Rude's injuries were nowhere near as bad as his own, but just as he'd suspected, the other hadn't gotten away unharmed. His toned frame bore its fair share of scrapes and bruises, though he hadn't burned as much.

“ _Hmph_. Fair enough.” Rude dropped to the mattress next to Reno, causing it to dip precariously.

“Goddamn **tank** , yo.” That got an affirmative, and slightly smug-sounding noise. The most severe injury was a cut along his left arm, though it was nearly hidden by the lines of the tattoo that wound its way around the limb. Reno carefully smoothed the salve over it, followed by some gauze. “Dunno how ya do it... ya got hide like a dragon, yanno?”

“You got speed. I got defense.”

“Yeah, yeah. Rub it in, yo.” He finished up by taping some gauze over the few burns Rude managed to get, mostly along his back. After carefully pressing the tape along the curve of his muscle, he sat back. “There. Now we get to be uncomfortable and itchy _all damn night._ And now... We need liquor. Lots of it.”

“Agreed.”

He padded out to the main room. Rude followed a few moments later, having abandoned the towel for the matching bottoms to the shirt Reno wore. There was an impressive collection of alcohol already set on the table. That must have been what Rude was up to while he'd been in the shower “Truly, you're prepared for any situation.” He smirked as Rude poured them shots.

“Be a shit Turk if I wasn't.”

For a time, silence hung between them. _What was there to say_? Both of them were thinking the same thoughts, but neither could put them into words. So they took shots. A bit of everything from a fancy Costa del Sol rum to some cheap flavored vodka. Even on the best days, he was a lightweight, and it only took a few burning gulps for the heat to start spreading through his veins. His thoughts grew _fuzzy_ , but no less **dark**. Across from him, Rude was as stoic as always, though his cheeks had a darker flush to them. Eventually they took to just passing bottles between them. _How did he do it? How could he be so goddamn calm. Like it was just any other day, like these injuries were from any other fucking job?_ He turned to glare out the kitchen window.

The lights of Sector 8 shone beyond, the rain throwing distorted reflections on every surface. Nothing looked amiss from this side. No smoke, no fires. A car would slosh by every so often, and the occasional unlucky traveler braving the elements. It was hard to imagine that the neighboring plate was simply... gone. _No, not gone._ In smoldering pieces on the ground below, scattered across the ruins of the slums. _Because of Shinra. Because of them_. He snarled wordlessly.

“Reno.” He jumped at the sound, head whipping around so fast he made himself dizzy.

“What?” The other held up a bottle, head inclining in silent question.

“How can ya be ssso goddamn calm?” He clenched his fists, short nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms. “I... We... Th' whole fucking plate. Jusst like that. Like it was just a nest of wererats, and not a whole fuckin' sssection of th' city!”

Rude's eyes narrowed, and he made a show of staring into the bottle, though a sharp hiss of breath escaped him. “Like Tseng said,” he slurred after a beat. “We hadn't done it, someone else would've.” He swirled alcohol around a moment before taking an impressive swig. “We did it our way. Did what we could.” He winced at the burn.

“I know that, yo!” Reno rose, slamming his hand on the table and rattling the bottles. “Ya think I don' fuckin' know that?” His breathing came in ragged gasps, bruised ribs aching. “Doesn't make it better! This ain't what the Turks do! We ain't th' best people in th' world but somethin' like that...” His face was hot, and he could feel the teltale pinprick of tears at the corners of his eyes. _Dammit. When did he get to be this weak?_ “What about Zirconiade? Everyone... They're GONE because of what they did! Midgar.. the world.. It's ssstill here, Shinra's still here makin' shit decisions because they stopped that thing! Because of the Turks!” He ran a hand through his still-damp hair. “They saved everyone. And what did we do? We...” He shook his head. “No... Fuck that.”

“ **We** didn't even do shit. You... Because I failed, _you_ had to...” He tried to fight the tears, but it was useless. _He was the second in command. He'd started the damn thing, he should have finished it. Instead, he'd allowed himself to get beaten into unconsciousness, and left his partner to do the deed alone. And that after nearly getting himself blown to hell._ Reno took a step back, swaying uncertainly. The world was spinning, and he lost his balance. And suddenly Rude was there, supporting him, strong hands gripping his shoulders. When did he even..

“Reno. Enough.”

He managed to stand on his own two feet, though still with the other bracing him, as he waited for the room to stop spinning, for his ears to stop ringing.

“Yeah...” His voice sounded strange to him. Shaky. “ **Yeah**.” Gripping Rude's arm, Reno turned to face him. Or rather, his shoulder. Goddamn skyscraper of a human. He sighed, resting his forehead against one tattooed pec. “'M'sorry... It was my fault, yanno....”

“Reno.” His name rumbled in Rude's chest like distant thunder. “It's not. You were down there longer. And held your own. Pretty damn impressive from where I was sitting.”

He shook his head. He hadn't done a good enough job on his own to keep them from taking down the helicopter. _Shit, some superior he'd been._

“Thought... Thought I'd lost ya there for a hot second, yanno? On top of every other shit thing... I thought...”

“Gonna take more than that. Gotta be flashier, too.”

“Flashier than a _fuckin' flaming helicopter crash_?” He felt Rude shrug in response, and actually gave a small, huffed laugh at that. This close, he could feel Rude's heartbeat. A strong, steady pulse. His own was fluttering like a caged bird in comparison. Reno closed his eyes, trying to focus on that rhythm. The only thing keeping him standing, keeping him grounded, was Rude. _That's always how it went. Ever since they'd first teamed up, so many years ago._ The man was like a pillar, and the irony of that thought didn't escape him. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry at it. Rude rumbled something at him, and he blinked, raising his head.

“ _Huh_?”

“Said I'm still here.” He squeezed Reno's uninjured shoulder. “And I'm gonna **keep** bein' here. And. You need to get some rest. Now. It's late. C”mon, you can have the bed, I'm feeling generous.”

“Wow, lucky me. Your generosity is astoundin', yanno?” He kept his tone light, even though he wanted to protest. It was futile, and his partner was right. This day had been a week. But if Rude left him, and if he closed his eyes... _what would he see? What would he be left with_?The thought **scared** him. He felt Rude start to move... and suddenly he didn't want that. _Not yet..._

“Wait...” _Shit, when did his voice sound that small_? “Just... stay like this a little longer, will ya?” _I don't want you to leave. I don't wanna be alone._ Damn it, he was being stupid. He was drunk, his body hot and sore. He'd been all those things before, but not like this. Not combined with the storm of anger, fear, and sorrow in his mind. And Rude... God he was so close. _Shit, they'd never been like this before. Close. Just them._

 _Stop thinking stupid shit. You've fucked up enough_.

Reno raised his head, pale beryl meeting deep chocolate as Rude stared down at him, unreadable.

_I almost lost him..._

And then, before he could think, he raised up on his toes, crushing his lips against Rude's. For a few fluttering heartbeats, it was amazing. And then his whisky-soaked brain caught up with his body and he jerked back, panic buzzing through his entire frame. Rude blinked down at him, dark eyes wide and lips parted just so.

“I'm... sorry, yo. I didn't...” _Of all the fucking times. You're fucking drunk and the world is falling down around you, and you're gonna destroy the one goddamn pillar you got left. Some goddamn professional you are._

 _Shit, shit shit shit_ _**shit** _ _-_

And then Rude's lips were on his again and all of his frenzied worries collapsed in on themselves. He closed his eyes, taught muscles relaxing, melting slowly into the other's arms. When Rude finally pulled away, he left Reno blinking, thoughts swirling fuzzily and bumping into one another. He opened and closed his mouth a few times without any sound, let alone words. “Whhh?” he finally managed.

“Wanted to do that for a while now, actually.”

“Y-you did? But I thought...” He struggled to nudge his thoughts back in line. It was like herding cats. “Thought ya... Shit, I thought ya didn't swing this way...”

“Swing both ways.”

“Then why... Why the fuck didn't ya say something, asshole?”

“Didn't think I was your type. Why didn't you? Idiot.”

“I was tryin'a respect you!”  
“By eavesdropping on my dates?”

“That was one time, yo!”

“So you say.” But he was grinning.

Reno blinked at him, mouth agape, trying to take it all in. He gave up, letting his head droop forward to rest against Rude's chest once more. “Fuckin' _bastard_ ,” he muttered into the warmth of his skin.

Rude's frame jerked with what _might_ have been a laugh, if he was prone to such a thing. “You wanna argue about it more, save it for morning.” He made to usher Reno toward the bedroom again. “Now, sleep. You're practically delirious. Don't want that.”

This time, Reno allowed himself to be led, dropping to the mattress with a groan. As soon as he stopped being vertical, his body was more than happy to remind him just how exhausted he was. Oh, he was going to be in pain in the morning. And have one hell of a hangover. And... the darkness, the horror, was still there, on the edge of his mind. It would always be there, a part of him now, and he knew it. But for a little while, at least, he had something to keep it at bay. Even if whatever happened was just for tonight.

“Hey. You still plannin' on sleepin' on the couch, yo?”

“Hmmm.” Rude made a show of pretending to consider. “Only if you don't move your scrawny drunk ass over.”

He let Rude slide past him with a sigh of exasperation that was only a little forced. Once the taller man had settled, Reno lay down again. He felt Rude's back against his, a firm unwavering presence. He took a deep breath, letting his eyes drift closed. For now, in this moment, he could breathe again. _Their world had changed. Irreparably._ Soon, they'd have to pick themselves up and step back through the door of Shinra HQ. They'd have to face the consequences of their actions, and so would all of Shinra.

They couldn't change the past, they couldn't stop the destruction of Sector 7. That blood was always going to be on their hands. He could only hope that the new President would never ask anything so terrible of the Turks again. Rufus had done his share of scheming, but he seemed to have a cooler head on his shoulders than the old man. And they still had each other. He'd screwed up tonight, yet his partner was still here. Rude was his pillar, the one who kept him from collapsing **completely**. He only hoped he could be the same for Rude.


	2. Chapter 2

The good thing about drowning himself in alcohol was that he slept like a log, and if he had dreams he didn't remember a damn thing. The downside was that the mere act of opening his eyes was painful. His tolerance was much higher than his partner's, but it had its limits, especially given his existing injuries. Aside from the dull ache that ran through every muscle, the first thing Rude was aware of was the foreign combination of scents surrounding him. There was the sterile hospital smell from the salve covering his wounds, and a contrasting, clean tang of tea tree. A scent he always associated with Reno, though not one he was accustomed to smelling here, in his own bed.

Reno... Last night...

Deep brown eyes blinked open, a low sound rumbling in his chest as wakefulness edged out the haze of sleep. He was met with the sight of a bright shock of vermilion resting in front of his nose. Sometime during the night, they'd gone from back-to-back to facing one another. Reno was still asleep, the swell of his chest slow and steady, the silky fabric of the pajama shirt flowing around him. This was a Reno that he wasn't used to seeing. His vivid hair fell loosely about his face, expression relaxed. The lines of tension usually present in his lean frame had melted away, leaving him looking almost... soft. It was still Reno, but sleep had smoothed all of his hard, sharp edges. The man might have a relaxed attitude, but Rude knew that most days, beneath that laid-back manner, he was anything but.

He caught himself staring, fascinated by the change. The events of last night were hazy, but.. he'd never forget the feel of those soft pink lips against his. Ifrit's horns, he had great lips, and.. And they'd kissed. Rude swallowed, feeling a rising heat in his cheeks. It had been one literal hell of a day, and... No, he didn't want to remember the rest of it. Not yet. That would come later, when they got out of bed and the world became all too real. For now, he could allow himself a few blessed minutes to lay here and focus on Reno. The rest of the world could stay somewhere far away. It wasn't long before the other began to stir, sheets rustling softly as pale blue eyes fluttered open. Rude watched as he sleepily took stock of the situation, yawning widely.

“Morning,” he said softly.

Reno blinked at him, lips slowly curling into a sleepy, unsure grin as the setting dawned on him. “Hey...” He paused. “...Guess that wasn't a dream... yeah?”

Rude managed to shake his head without actually lifting it from the pillow. Several moments ticked by in silence, neither one sure how to continue, both unable to look away. He was strongly aware of his own heartbeat. Taking a breath, he reached out, slowly, to wipe some sleep away from the corner of the other's eye. Reno didn't protest, and Rude, emboldened, dared to brush a thumb along the sharp edge of one cheekbone.

“Last night,” Reno began quietly, stilling beneath his touch.

“.... Yeah.”

“You mean what ya said, yo?”

“Yeah. You mean what you did?”

He breathed out a laugh. “Hell yeah.”

“How do you feel?”

“Everything's sore. Got a headache. You?”

“Same.”

There was a feathery shuffling, and Reno edged closer to him, draping himself across Rude's chest. Almost reflexively, he moved to wrap his arms around the other, to hold him closer.

“Ow...” they chorused, both wincing at the same time and pulling back. Damn bruises.

And then the moment, whatever it had been, was gone.

“Fuck, I need coffee, yo.”

“Water probably wouldn't hurt, either.” He should have made them both drink some last night, but... that hadn't happened. Rude pushed himself slowly into a sitting position, which his head strongly protested. That might be the most he'd ever drank in one sitting. He probably shouldn't do that again, ever. Reno eventually mirrored him, sitting up with a groan. Rude couldn't remember ever seeing him so exhausted. He hadn't bothered to fully dry his hair before they'd passed out, and now one side was flattened against the side of his head from the pillow, while the other fell in a haphazard mess. That got a corner of his lip to turn up.

“What're you grinning at, partner?” The other's tone was accusing.

“Major case of bedhead you've got.”

Reno ran his fingers through the bright mass, which did little to correct it. “Geez. I'm getting gypped here. You don't look any different.”

Rude shrugged.

With a final glare, Reno struggled to his feet, and Rude followed him toward the hallway. The kitchen seemed painfully bright after the darkness of the bedroom, even with the thick cover of rain clouds. His eyes couldn't help wandering to the cityscape outside, squinting while his vision adjusted. He felt a light pressure against his side as Reno leaned carefully against him, following his gaze. Just like last night, Sector 8 seemed unchanged. It was as if from here, it never happened. It seemed... unfair, somehow. No, that wasn't the right word. He didn't want more destruction, and it was reassuring that life was still moving forward in the rest of Midgar. But there should be something different. Some reaction. The world had changed. Both of them jumped as sirens blared, a pair of emergency vehicles cutting through the rain-drenched streets in the direction of the Sector 7 boundary. That was something. There were people out there, trying to help contain the damage, to do whatever was in their power... He'd seen the Urban Planning folks racing around back at HQ. There were good people out there, yeah. But the reason for that...

“Hey.” He blinked at the sound, chestnut hues sliding to Reno, who nudged him. “C'mon.... Need coffee, yo. You deal with that. I'll make breakfast.”

“N...no, I can do that. You should rest, you-”

“Aren't a tank, got worse injuries, look like crap, yadda yadda.” He waved dismissively, opening the fridge to poke around as if he owned it. “One, I need shit to do. Two, I've seen you make toast and it's a crime, yo.”

Part of him wanted to pick Reno up and deposit him onto the couch, but the rest of him knew it would be pointless. He was right, they both needed something else to think about right now.

Not that making coffee took very long. He set a full pot to brewing, figuring that between the two of them they'd finish it in no time. He also poured a cup of water for himself, and one for Reno, setting it by his side. Assigned mission completed, he leaned on the counter, watching his partner.

Reno moved methodically, prepping each item. It wasn't necessarily what one could call well-stocked, but Rude made sure to keep his kitchen full of the basics. Eggs, bacon, sausages, toast. He knew Reno liked to cook, but he rarely had the chance to witness it. He worked with the same focus he applied to his job, somehow equal parts intense and casual at the same time. It was one of the reasons Rude admired him. Yes, he had an attitude and a mouth to match, but beneath that he was dedicated. Rude was honestly still amazed he was standing, after the beating he'd taken.

It surprised him just how much Reno's slim shoulders could bear. He might say otherwise, but Rude saw him as the strong one. Stronger than he looked, and more intelligent than most people gave him credit for. That was why he was Tseng's right-hand man. It took something special to be a Turk, and even more to be a top Turk. Today, though... That burden was taking its toll. Reno seemed smaller, more subdued. Rude's oversize pajama top only magnified the effect. It slipped off one freckled shoulder, the edges of the sleeves extending past his fingertips. He would push them back, only for the slick material to slide down again after a minute. His fiery hair fell in a long, loose cascade down his back. It wasn't much longer before the scents of cooking bacon and brewing coffee filled the space.

“Order up, yo.” Reno brandished the spatula at him. “You gonna get plates or just keep starin'?”

“Huh? Oh.” Oops, he'd been caught. “Was admiring the view. Can you blame me?”

“Not at all. But I haven't eaten shit since like... one energy bar before … the.. mission. Yeah. So I'm hungry and cranky.”

“Can't have that. Here you go.” He handed Reno a pair of plates, and proceeded to fill two mugs with fresh coffee. He didn't realize just how hungry he was himself until they sat down. He didn't even remember having an energy bar. Once he had some food and caffeine in him, he started to feel a bit more alive. Reno knew what he was doing, and yes, Rude had to admit that toast was better when it wasn't a blackened brick.

“Not bad. Wouldn't mind if you cooked for me more often.”

“Anything beats yours, yo.” Reno grinned salaciously at him over a forkful of eggs. “Ya got one of those fantasies of me in the kitchen in an apron and nothin' else?”

Rude nearly spit out his coffee. He might not have thought about it before but he certainly was now. And this was not a conversation they were having. He cleared his throat, setting the mug down. “That is not what I was implying at all.” He promptly shoved a strip of bacon into his mouth, nearly burning his tongue. Reno snickered.

Rain continued to patter against the window, the only other sounds that of cars racing by, and the occasional distant siren. Despite how ordinarily calm everything seemed here, in this small space, his stomach still knotted a little with every faint wail. They lapsed into silence, filling their bellies after what felt like an eternity. The events of the past day seemed so recent, and yet hazy. Had it been one day, or two, or a week? Eventually they finished, and Rude rose, collecting the plates above his partner's complaint.

“You cooked, I'll clean. You really shouldn't be on your feet more than you need to be.” They glared at one another, and Reno turned with an exasperated sigh, heading for the couch. Rude shook his head and began to tackle the dishes. He heard the television flip on, but paid it little heed until he recognized the sound of a newscast. Shit. Drying his hands, he walked over to the couch.

Reno was hunched against the corner, remote clutched in one hand while the other balled into a white-knuckled fist, beryl gaze fixed on the screen. Images flashed across it – fires, rubble, people running from the fallout, helicopters circling like vultures. Rude sucked in a breath, his own fingers curling into fists. It wasn't as if he- they hadn't seen it before. The helicopter had been nearly back at HQ by the time it had happened in reality, and he'd been tending to Reno. But... Images had been plastered all over the vidscreens at HQ, even in General Affairs. It was impossible to avoid. Reno had tried to, at first, collapsing on the office couch and staring at the ceiling, facing away from the screens as he chugged down energy drinks. Rude had known it was only a matter of time before his partner would go and guilt himself into doing something like this.

He eased himself down next to the redhead, carefully looping one arm around him to pull him against his side. Reaching for the remote with his free hand, he eased it out of Reno's grip and flipped the channel to something else, some old movie. Just something for background light and sound that wasn't … reality.

“Rude...” 

“Don't.” He rested his head against the crown of vermilion spikes, ignoring the anger in his partner's tone. “Don't do this to yourself.”

“Damn it... How can... How can you...”

“It's done.” He felt chill, despite Reno's warmth. He was always so warm, even though he was a stick by Rude's standards. “It... It's over. We can't change it. Like any other mission. We complete it, we move on.” He had to think of it like that. Compartmentalize it, wall it off. It was put into a file, and that file was locked in a cabinet somewhere in the back of him mind. The lock for this one was broken, though, and he knew it.

“Fuck,” Reno snarled, curling against him, shoulders shaking. The hot dampness of tears fell against his skin. “You had to do it. You had to see it. I didn't... It's all blank. We unleashed hell and I don't remember shit, yo.”

“Even if you hadn't, result would have been the same. Stop blaming yourself. We're partners. That means you don't have to do everything by yourself. Even... no, especially the important stuff.” He preferred it to happen the way it did. He knew he couldn't say it, it would just set Reno off, but it was true. As far as he was concerned it was a small mercy, sparing his partner that horror. He knew Reno would never see it that way, and he wasn't in any mood to argue. There was no easy fix for this, and there shouldn't be. Even if he could somehow change the past, if Platefall was inevitable, then Rude would rather set it off himself again then put that burden on his partner's shoulders. He was designed to carry that sort of weight. Reno wasn't, even if he convinced himself otherwise. And shouldn't have to be. They each had their roles.

“Yeah...” Reno's voice was soft, shaky. “Partners. And Turks.”

“Damn right.” He leaned back, ignoring the soreness to keep Reno against him. They lay together, listening to the low sounds from the television and the drumbeat of rain in the background. Slowly, he felt the other relax, heartbeat steadying and breathing evening out. Good, he needed to rest again, but forcing him wasn't the right way to get Reno to do anything. Rude closed his eyes, tired again despite the caffeine. He didn't remember falling asleep, but when he opened his eyes after what felt like just a few heartbeats, the clock told him it had been two hours, and he was alone. He sat up carefully, scanning the room. He trusted Reno enough to know he wouldn't run off, not far at least, especially in the shape he was in, but that didn't mean the ginger idiot could just disappear on him like this. A quick look around revealed the shades covering the door to his tiny patio were half opened. _Ah_.

Sure enough, he found Reno out there, abusing the privilege of using a chair. Smoke curled around his head, rising from the cigarette dangling loosely in his slim fingers. The rain had stopped, though it was only temporary by the look of the dark clouds surrounding the pale blue break. Reno raised his head at the sound of the door sliding open, shooting Rude an almost apologetic glance.

“Thought you'd run off. This's supposed to be a non-smoking unit.”

“Sorry, yo. You were out cold, and... I know ya hate it, but just needed something... Remembered I had some in my suit pocket. Survived the ordeal, somehow. You'll be happy to know that I don't do it much at all anymore, yanno? Reserved for special, extra-shitty situations. Ya gotta admit, this qualifies.”

True, he hated the damn habit, but if ever there was a time for it... He briefly considered reminding the other that the pajama top was the one and only article of clothing he was currently wearing, but realized that he didn't feel like expending the energy. That, and Reno would probably find a new and even less convenient way to configure himself out of spite. At least the walls on either side kept the place fairly private. Rude settled into the other chair, realizing too late that it was damp, and held out a hand. Reno arched a brow at the gesture.

“Got another?”

“Hehe. What was that about a non-smokin' patio?” He pulled an open pack and lighter out of the pajama shirt pocket, ignoring Rude's scowl. “What, were else was I gonna keep 'em?”

Rude shook his head, taking one and allowing Reno to light it. Shit, it had been years since he'd smoked, and it was just as terrible as he remembered. Reno watched him with mild amusement. Well, at least he was almost smiling again. That was something.

“Whaddya think's gonna happen now?” Reno turned back to stare over the rooftops.

“I think..” He paused, still unused to the sensation of smoke, but he managed not to cough. “I think Rufus will be more reasonable. He's ambitious, we know that. But... within reason.” He sighed. “Our jobs aren't gonna get any easier. But, I don't think he'll ever go that far.”  
“Yeah. Shit, I hope you're right, yo.” He let out a humorless laugh. “Well, guess we got no choice, either way. Now we get to see what Shinra's like under the Boy Wonder. Somethin' to look forward to. A bright, shining new era or some such bullshit.”

Before Rude could respond, the sky opened again with a low rumble of thunder. There was an overhang, but once the rain started in earnest it would do little good. Snuffing the cigarettes, the two of them hurried inside once more. They stood by the door, watching the rain. Reno leaned against him, smelling of cigarette smoke and tea tree, messy cardinal's crest of hair tickling his shoulder. After a moment, Rude carefully looped an arm around the other's slender frame, mindful of his injuries. They didn't need a repeat of this morning.

“So, ya really didn't think I was into ya?” The question was sudden, but Reno's tone was maddeningly casual.

“Like I said, didn't think I was your type. You like to mess around. And I'm...”

“A hopeless romantic?”

“Nnngh. …. Yeah.” Ouch, called out.

Reno had the nerve to pout, pink lip jutting in offense. “How d'ya know I don't like hopeless romanticism?” He blinked up at Rude, and damn it even without liner he had incredible lashes. “You're fuckin' adorable, ya know that?”

“I am not... adorable.”

“Real convincin'.” Reno's pout turned into a smirk, which was almost worse. “I can do romantic. Fancy dates, candlelight, chocolates. It ain't rocket surgery, and I'll have ya know I clean up pretty damn well, yo.” He nuzzled Rude's chest. “C'mon then. Say somethin' romantic. Woo me.”

Rude didn't respond immediately, still trying to wrap his mind around _rocket surgery._ Wait, woo? “Uh...”

Reno breathed a laugh into his shoulder. “C'mon. Ya gotta have somethin', yeah?”

It was true, he did. Something he'd thought about often. Whenever Reno looked at him with those gorgeous stormy eyes. He'd never put it into words, though heaven only knows he'd wanted to.

“Your eyes,” he started slowly. “... They remind me of sea glass.”

“Sea glass?”

“Yeah. Used to find it a lot, growing up on Junon beach. Mixed in with the sand and shells, and whatever else washed up. Bottles and such that get worn down by the waves into these little smooth pebbles.” He carded his fingers through Reno's hair as he spoke, and the other hummed contentedly. “My siblings and I would go out and search for it. Get enough and you can fill vases and other things. It was kind of like a treasure hunt. If you were lucky you'd find brown, or red... that was even rarer. But the kind you'd finds most of … white, blue, and green. When I look into your eyes, it makes me think of it. Sea glass.” He paused. “Dunno if you know it, but... It's like your eyes change color in different lighting. Sometimes they're blue, and sometimes gray, and sometimes they even look green. They're beautiful.” There, he'd admitted it. And strung a lot more words together than he was normally wont to do. _And_... If he didn't know any better, he could swear there was a dusting of pink on Reno's pale, bruised cheeks, but he buried his face against Rude's chest with a huffed laugh before he could be sure.

“God, ya really are a cheeseball, yanno?” The words were muffled against his skin.

“You asked.”

“So does that mean you're gonna ask me out on a date?”

“Might have to consider it. Once we're both back to our normal colors.”

“I don't know, purple's starting to grow on me, yanno?”

He couldn't help but smile. It had never been the most natural expression for him, and it would be even harder to do so, now. ...But if anyone could coax a grin out of him, it was Reno. He didn't know where he'd be without those flashing eyes edged in slashes of crimson. They were going to move forward. Even if it was difficult, even with the memories of Sector 7 on their heels. He wasn't alone. No, Reno would be there, racing ahead of him, that flaming hair like a beacon for him to follow after. Always in motion, always giving him a reason to keep looking forward. And he'd follow behind, just as always, ready to catch him if he stumbled. That was how it had been since the beginning, and that was how he liked it.


End file.
